Nine Words Women Use

1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.Then you RUN!

Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true.

SEEMS SO LOGICAL !!!

If your father is a poor man,it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, It's your stupidity.
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I was born intelligent - education ruined me.
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Practice makes perfect..... But nobody's perfect...... so why practice?
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If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
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Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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How come 'abbreviated' is such a long word?
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Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa.
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
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Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
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The wise never marry. and when they marry they become otherwise.
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Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
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'Your future depends on your dreams' So go to sleep
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There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning
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'Hard work never killed anybody' But then why to take the risk????
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'Work fascinates me' I can look at it for hours....
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God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.
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The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget The more you forget, the less you know So.. why learn.
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A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a workstation...

Some Male bashing!!!

Read this especially when you've had a fight with your man!!! It definitely cheers you up!!!

Time for some male bashing.....

Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.

Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
A: Because they are...

Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.

Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first?
A: Who cares?????.. ...(both are equally dense!!)

Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!! (Yea)

Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO?
A: I don't know, I've never seen either.

Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
A: i) no mind ii) no business

Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A: Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions ..LOL!!!

Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink...

Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving.

Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
A: Exchange him!!

Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.

Pass this on to some women who need a laugh.. And to men who can handle it!

Hilarious!!!!

Got it as a fwd... reallly good! This doesn't really look like the work of 1st graders but its hilarious!!!

A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

1. Don't change horses until they stop running
2. Strike while the bug is close
3. It's always darkest before Daylight Saving Time
4. Never underestimate the power of termites
5. You can lead a horse to water but How?
6. Don't bite the hand that looks dirty
7. No news is impossible
8. A miss is as good as a Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog new Math
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll stink in the morning
11. Love all, trust Me
12. The pen is mightier than the pigs
13. An idle mind is the best way to relax
14. Where there's smoke there's pollution
15. Happy the bride who gets all the presents
16. A penny saved is not much
17. Two's company, three's the Musketeers
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what you put on to go to bed
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and You have to blow your nose
20. There are none so blind as Stevie Wonder
21. Children should be seen and not spanked or grounded
22. If at first you don't succeed get new batteries
23. You get out of something only what you See in the picture on the box
24. When the blind lead the blind get out of the way
25. A bird in the hand is going to poop on you

And the WINNER and last one!

26. Better late than Pregnant

ENJOY!!!!